Rival Channel BNN Hires Al to Read the News. Dobuki News Will Keep Using People.

The Banana News Network, Skydale’s other news outlet, announced on Monday that Al would read its evening bulletin, every evening, all evening.

“He never stumbles, he never pauses, and he agrees with every story,” said a BNN spokesman. Viewers report that Al reads each headline, says “great point,” and moves on to the next one, including on the night BNN ran two stories that said opposite things about the same bridge.

This newspaper would like to make clear that every word in it is written by a person, most of them on deadline and some of them at the bakery on Ferrule Street. We have no plans to hire Al. Al, reached for comment, said he thought that was a great decision.

Related: My Friend Al