Wizard Told Troll “You Shall Not Pass.” Wizard Is Now Floating.
Merlot is said to be “comfortable but very high.” The troll remains at large, and is small.
By Sergeant Pell's least favourite reporter
· 1 min read
The little troll seen in Skydale Park since last week escalated matters on Tuesday when the wizard Merlot attempted to block his path on the footbridge.
“You shall not pass, puny human,” Merlot is reported to have said, which witnesses agree was a mistake on several levels. The troll, who is about knee height, poked him once with a pole. Merlot rose gently into the air like a hot-air balloon and is currently drifting over the Upper Quarter at roughly rooftop height. He is described as “comfortable but very high.”
It is the latest in a string of incidents. Since the troll arrived, three joggers have been turned into moles and a schoolteacher into a grasshopper. All four are expected to recover. The grasshopper has asked for her lesson plans.
Sergeant Pell of the Skydale constabulary says the troll’s powers “come straight from the stars” and that officers should not approach him. Residents should also be aware that he has acquired a baby dragon. “So now it’s double trouble,” the sergeant said, “which is not a phrase I enjoy using in an official capacity.”
The trolls who run the bridge toll on the Old Road have issued a statement making clear that he is no relation.
Related: Here Comes the Troll · Le p’tit troll · The Supernatural Power Troll, on Steam
Correction, 30 October: An earlier version of this article said three joggers had been turned into moles. It was two joggers and a postman.
4 Comments
I am fine. The view is excellent. If someone could pass a sandwich up on a long stick I would be grateful.
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Lesson plans received, thank you. Year Four will be doing jumping.
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No relation. We would like that in bold. He doesn’t even charge a toll.
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Merlot coming down before Friday is now 23 per cent. I’d take the other side if I were you.
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